to the mtn

last nite i was babystitting.
lilly was screaming. my newfound experience in the newborn nursery has given me somewhat of a confidence (maybe falsley so) in calming infants. first, there is the swaddle. this is an art that i have not quite perfected but that i seem to approve upon every time i do it. this especially works for preterm infants -- who need the boundaries of a tight swaddle in order to resemble life inside their mother's womb. sounds kinda dumb -- but it is amazing how well it works. and then there is compression. light touch overloads the sensory system. firm touch and compression can help calm. and of course the "shhhhh" can work nicely too.
none of that was worth anything last nite. lilly is around eleven months old. none of my tactics were going to have a chance, and i knew that.

skip forward thirty minutes: lilly is craddled in my trunk -- flexed in a rocking chair. she is sleeping, breathing heavily. we are rocking. i am singing:
take me up, up the mountain
and teach me your ways
teach me your ways
that i a might have a seat at the table
of the wedding feast of the lamb

this all might seem pretty insignificant. bek babysitting. kid crying. bek trying to calm crying kid. failing and then finally, succeeding. but there is something more than that in there. i was on signal mtn. that is where lilly and her family live. and i was singing take me up to the mtn.

things have been strange lately. and in that picture of me last nite, i sang truth. all i want to do is be taken up to the mtn and discipled. everything else is worthless. chasing after the wind.
i have chased too long.
found worth in the worthless for too long.