the alphabet
strange times for me lately.
i feel like a traitor most days. for some of you who knew me, not now, but then with my computer, coffee, and candy corn -- and of course the blanket and fold-up chair, sitting outside the townhouses at 2am writing. (a few of you smile. you know that blanket. and that rebekah.) gosh, i forced my way through physics by day, stayed up late writing at night. of course, i was in the closet with a chair and a light if it was too cold to sit outside. tanya was usually asleep when i started on my writing assignment for the next day, and i didn't want to wake her.
i am scared to confess that i go to bed early. it was a decision that i made gradually. it feels better to go to work when you have slept. (wow -- genius thought i know.) i wake up early. i get in my car, drive to work. park. pray: Lord, I submit myself to you. This day to you. Even if i would rather not be working like this, I am yours. Give me the grace to love and extend your love to each of my patients. Thank you for giving me one whole hour with eight people today. Bless them. Use me to bless them. Amen." I walk in. I smell that familiar smell -- walk to my office, take one last sip of my coffee and sit down for a minute before going to get my first patient. (deep breath.) i am a physical therapist. i remember when i walked into Dr. Buck's office to tell him that i would finish my degree at IWU but that my plans had changed and that i would apply to grad school. not for writing or literature but for ... (mumble) PT. He told me not to get "thick" because PTs are thick. and my physics professor i think rolled his eyes. guarantee he didn't think i would get in.
i was having coffee with amy k. a few weeks ago and started telling stories about work and patients, and i realized that i have much that i could start writing about if i would take the time. amy and i had this conversation weeks ago, and i still haven't done anything about it...but today reminded me that i need to start processing and recording at least a few of these thoughts informally. later i can put them together.
so a few days ago...the song "when a man loves a woman" comes on the radio as i am doing range of motion on mr. t's shoulder. he says almost immediately, "My brother wrote this song." Holding his arm, i looked at him, "Really? You are kidding. i love this song." And he answered, "Yeah, he wrote it and sold it to... but they left out some of the lyrics." "Mr. t, you tell your brother that one day when i get married, i want him to sing his song at my wedding." mr. t laughed and said, "i'll sing it at your wedding. nah, i'll tell him." [important lead-in detail (with an r-rating if you had been there): mr. t injured and then re-injured himself during "activity" and didn't hesitate to tell me (and describe to me how) during his intial evaluation. He also asked in-depth why wasn't i married on an earlier occasion). skip forward two days to today. mr. t says, "i talked to my brother. i told him he had to sing that song at my next wedding." i looked at him, confused (and stupidly naive), "what?" mr. t said, "yeah, when i marry you." there is more... but i will spare us both :)
i still love the song when a man loves a woman but i never will look at it the same way.
today i also had a patient tell me the story of how she met her husband. karaoke at a bar. she sang amazing grace (loudly. black gospel version) for me as i did some soft tissue work to her traps and range of motion to her shoulder. the distraction worked. i was able to get more than 90 degrees of flexion. an amazing accomplishment -- considering that she cried, screamed, banged/kicked on the wall any other time i tried to touch her.
interesting day. many of you know, that if the Lord wants me to continue to work, i will probably end up working in the NICU and with early childhood development. I have a 3 y/o little girl with the head and trunk control of a newborn. She makes me nervous. i have let her head drop before -- and it makes me catch my breath for a second. One of the OTs talked with her mother and went over safety in detail. "be very careful with her head. Protect her head and neck -- just as if she was a newborn." The mother's response reminds me why God has me in this job right now. The mother said, "What do you think is going to happen? She is already broke."
i end there for tonight. because there aren't words to respond to that comment. only feelings. the only sense sometimes that i can make out of why God has me working right now as a PT is to love these children, these people. i go to work and listen and with God's mercy help. and with God's grace love.
well and get proposed to -- but you know. whatever.
i feel like a traitor most days. for some of you who knew me, not now, but then with my computer, coffee, and candy corn -- and of course the blanket and fold-up chair, sitting outside the townhouses at 2am writing. (a few of you smile. you know that blanket. and that rebekah.) gosh, i forced my way through physics by day, stayed up late writing at night. of course, i was in the closet with a chair and a light if it was too cold to sit outside. tanya was usually asleep when i started on my writing assignment for the next day, and i didn't want to wake her.
i am scared to confess that i go to bed early. it was a decision that i made gradually. it feels better to go to work when you have slept. (wow -- genius thought i know.) i wake up early. i get in my car, drive to work. park. pray: Lord, I submit myself to you. This day to you. Even if i would rather not be working like this, I am yours. Give me the grace to love and extend your love to each of my patients. Thank you for giving me one whole hour with eight people today. Bless them. Use me to bless them. Amen." I walk in. I smell that familiar smell -- walk to my office, take one last sip of my coffee and sit down for a minute before going to get my first patient. (deep breath.) i am a physical therapist. i remember when i walked into Dr. Buck's office to tell him that i would finish my degree at IWU but that my plans had changed and that i would apply to grad school. not for writing or literature but for ... (mumble) PT. He told me not to get "thick" because PTs are thick. and my physics professor i think rolled his eyes. guarantee he didn't think i would get in.
i was having coffee with amy k. a few weeks ago and started telling stories about work and patients, and i realized that i have much that i could start writing about if i would take the time. amy and i had this conversation weeks ago, and i still haven't done anything about it...but today reminded me that i need to start processing and recording at least a few of these thoughts informally. later i can put them together.
so a few days ago...the song "when a man loves a woman" comes on the radio as i am doing range of motion on mr. t's shoulder. he says almost immediately, "My brother wrote this song." Holding his arm, i looked at him, "Really? You are kidding. i love this song." And he answered, "Yeah, he wrote it and sold it to... but they left out some of the lyrics." "Mr. t, you tell your brother that one day when i get married, i want him to sing his song at my wedding." mr. t laughed and said, "i'll sing it at your wedding. nah, i'll tell him." [important lead-in detail (with an r-rating if you had been there): mr. t injured and then re-injured himself during "activity" and didn't hesitate to tell me (and describe to me how) during his intial evaluation. He also asked in-depth why wasn't i married on an earlier occasion). skip forward two days to today. mr. t says, "i talked to my brother. i told him he had to sing that song at my next wedding." i looked at him, confused (and stupidly naive), "what?" mr. t said, "yeah, when i marry you." there is more... but i will spare us both :)
i still love the song when a man loves a woman but i never will look at it the same way.
today i also had a patient tell me the story of how she met her husband. karaoke at a bar. she sang amazing grace (loudly. black gospel version) for me as i did some soft tissue work to her traps and range of motion to her shoulder. the distraction worked. i was able to get more than 90 degrees of flexion. an amazing accomplishment -- considering that she cried, screamed, banged/kicked on the wall any other time i tried to touch her.
interesting day. many of you know, that if the Lord wants me to continue to work, i will probably end up working in the NICU and with early childhood development. I have a 3 y/o little girl with the head and trunk control of a newborn. She makes me nervous. i have let her head drop before -- and it makes me catch my breath for a second. One of the OTs talked with her mother and went over safety in detail. "be very careful with her head. Protect her head and neck -- just as if she was a newborn." The mother's response reminds me why God has me in this job right now. The mother said, "What do you think is going to happen? She is already broke."
i end there for tonight. because there aren't words to respond to that comment. only feelings. the only sense sometimes that i can make out of why God has me working right now as a PT is to love these children, these people. i go to work and listen and with God's mercy help. and with God's grace love.
well and get proposed to -- but you know. whatever.
posted by rebekah at Friday, September 29, 2006
2 Comments:
love this.
again, soon?
of course soon, my friend. but i am going to texas this week -- will be back the next week. maybe then?
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