seems like it has been a while

i have tried to write this very post more than once and i have always changed my mind before hitting publish. not sure why, really. it isn't that big of a deal and i don't plan for this to be a huge thought-provoking combination of thoughts. BUT i just thought that for those friends out there who seem to catch up with everyone here and there... i have slightly ducked out for a bit and may duck out a bit more. a lot has been going on here in chatt-town, some things that i don't quite know what God is going to do with -- but i am excited and expectant.... and i am a little tired and a little scared all at the same time. i feel like i have been running and running, sleeping little, and being attacked a lot. this isn't a bad thing -- okay, the tired isn't much fun and neither is the frequent spiritual bombardment, but i have full confidence that all that is happening is being worked out for his glory (or as paul states in romans, i am fully assured that God has the power to do what he has promised) . my point, i guess, is that i haven't been devulging all of that here: i have read lots of thoughts on 'blogging' in general lately, and i think this might just be the time that i have to wait and hold things in my heart. well, and another reason things haven't seemed to make it to this blog is because many of my thoughts and the spiritual-stuff God is doing has been put on a separate blog that a group who of us who meets on thurs mornings have tried to keep up. well, that is partially- true because the objective stuff is there --what we have been studying is there, but this "stuff" going on in my heart hasn't been publicly released :). okay, and then there is the fact that i am moving. soon. scary soon. i am okay with moving and praise God getting a job, and finally not driving an hour and forty-five mintues to church, BUT i am still afraid -- afraid if a physical move indicates a moving on. in the past few months, the curtain has finally been lifted -- even a tiny bit -- and i see God moving in ways that i have waited for two and a half years to see even a glimpse of. but in a few weeks, i am leaving this... and i have had to ask God, what am i supposed to do with all of this -- that is in my heart and what you are doing? and what about the leaving and staying -- regardless of the miles -- which aren't really that many? and especially in one particular situation -- do i go or do i stay?


so, this is just an update. i am not running off... in fact, i still check this -- and all of yours -- pretty frequently, but i guess i have been wanting to explain a little... why a while ago i took this turn away from the a certain sense of what is "really" going on toward a more objective what "is" going on and then toward ... a mild sense of disappearing.